I struggle with depression from time to time, but this past week, a wave hit me pretty hard and I felt as if my world was turned upside down. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that it was very, very rough. When it hit me, I cleared my schedule, turned to the Word, and spent a ton of time in prayer. But still, it felt like God was silent and my prayers weren’t even going past the ceiling. I felt like David when he asked God,
“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?” (Ps 13:1)
I felt defeated, down, and even disgusted because I had no real reason to feel that way. I wasn’t sure why it was this bad, but I was hurting.
But I pressed on. And as I have worked through this (and still am, TBH), I realized a few truths:
- I may feel alone mentally and emotionally, but I’m never truly alone when I am in Christ.
- I may struggle now, but my future is His.
- God is never going to leave me or forsake me.
- I may weep and even stay anxious, but His joy is my strength.
Of course, I knew these truths, but at the time I didn’t feel them. Thankfully, God is gracious, and as I prayed, talked, and sought the Lord, these truths became more real in my heart. I am fighting the fight for joy, and God is revealing this more and more to me, even as I write tonight. Praise God!
So that said, let me share my encouragement to you who might go through from time to time: draw near to Christ, read His Word, pray, talk to a friend, and even change your routine. Most of all, be patient and let His Spirit work in you as you fight for joy.
May the Lord take you through this season, because I am confident that He will. 🙂